When I reached my late-ish thirties, it seemed like everyone around me was reaching their 40th birthday. Husband turned 40 when I was 36. Sister and Brother-in-Law turned 40 when I was 37. And I had many friends my age that were already freaking out about turning 40.
I haven’t ever been one to freak out about birthdays. I don’t mind getting older. I had a rough time as a teenager. I wouldn’t relive high school if you paid me a million dollars. College was better, but I really started to get more comfortable with myself in my 20s and found a ton of happiness in my 30s. So maybe my 40s would be even more awesome?!
But with everyone around me turning 40, I saw that everyone was really examining their lives up to that point. Where did they think they would be when they were 40? Are they there? What are their goals? Have they met them? And while I have found much happiness in my 30s and have done some big “Bucket List” type things in my life (Married with a kid? Check! Helicopter ride over a volcano? Check! Write a book? Check! Be in the same room as the President? Check!), I have noticed that my goals have been much less a priority in my 30s, taking a backseat for the greater good of the family. There are so many places I want to travel and things I want to do, but I have been putting many of them off until “later.” I put later in quotation marks because I never define later. Is it when Son is older? Is it when I’m retired?
So I decided to define later and create a list of 40 things to do before I turned 40. Realistic goals that I could do on my budget and with time constraints that come with working full-time and being a mother/wife/daughter/sister/friend. Initially when I sat down to create my list, I had only a few solid ideas. I’ve always wanted to travel to Paris. Always. I studied French in high school and I’ve always wanted to go to France, especially Paris. I want to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower and go to the Musee D’Orsay to see all the impressionist paintings. I want to go to small cafes and drink coffee and hang out in some clubs and drink wine. With a 10 year wedding anniversary and my 40th birthday falling in this 2.5 year period, I thought it was realistic to include a big trip. So this was the first thing on my list.
My next thought was “wow, there are so many other places I want to travel” and immediately started writing down trip ideas. My little family unit of three is solidly within the middle class, so while we do take an annual vacation or two, they do not typically involve airfare. So taking forty trips in 2.5 years is not realistic for my family. However, my husband and I have always talked about getting a cabin at Yellowstone, so I put that on the list. (Later on, I also added Disney World because my son will be at that perfect age of 7-9 during this time span).
Beyond travel, I have always wanted to be a writer. (Can you tell?) A few years before, I wrote a first draft of a novel that I knew needed a lot of editing before I would ever dream of sending it to an agent, but I hadn’t been able to spare the time to edit. (In other words, I haven’t made the time to edit. Editing and re-writing is not the most fun. At least not as much fun as watching American Ninja Warrior with Husband). I had another idea for a novel that had me currently lying awake at night, plotting and creating characters and scenes in my head. So editing my first book and drafting my second novel also quickly made the list. (Check out my list on the sidebar to the left. Clicking on any of the goals takes you to posts about that particular goal.)
Beyond these initial thoughts, I knew I wanted to round out my list in the following ways: I wanted some things to be activities and others to be achievements. I wanted some things to be easy to accomplish and others to be more time consuming. I wanted to make memories!
Looking at the completed list, I realize that they easily fit into a few categories: Adventure & Travel, Writing & Creative Activities, Building Knowledge, Being Less Introverted, and Family Stuff. I think that’s a pretty good description of me. I like adventure, I’m creative, I’m a lifelong learner, I’m shy, and I love my family (including my close friends whom I consider to be family).
So check out my 40 Before 40 List to the left! What’s on yours?
